There is a baby in there

Had my sonogram today and there is a little tiny baby in there. It was so nice to be able to see that, and to see that tiny heartbeat fluttering away. I forgot to ask the tech what the rate was, but of course it was normal or they would have told us. We did get to take home a few pics, they are not very clear and the baby is hard to see, but they are still precious to look at.









Oh also my due date stayed the same. The baby was measuring 2 days ahead, but my dr. said that when it is within 2 days they keep the original date. So I am officially due June 18th. Also I am changing this blog to be public now, since I feel more confident in the pg, I am going to start telling more people.


On another note I received a scrip to help me with my sickness, hopefully it might be of some help. I had lost a pound, so I guess my dr. thought that I should stop throwing up. I actually thought it was pretty good I only lost 1 pound. According to my scale I was down 5 pounds at one point. But of course I know it is never good to lose weight when you are pg. My dr. actually said to me, "Let's see if you can gain some weight next time". Which I found a little bit funny, because my last pg, he was quick to tell me when I was only half way through that I had gained enough weight for my whole pg already. I'm sure my weight gain will get right back up there again, once this throwing up stops.

All day sickness

This is what I am currently suffering from, all day sickness. I guess I should have known that I couldn't get so lucky to have hardly any sickness this time like I did last time. It's okay though. But I hate to throw up and it appears that I have to do it everyday now. I guess I am still quite lucky, because I know there are women that throw up constantly and get dehydrated and have to go the hospital and what not and I am not any where near that sick. But I do throw up at least once a day, usually before dinner. I was excited the other day, when I went the whole day without throwing up, hoping that maybe I just had one bad week and then it was getting better. But unfortunately it did not last.

Part of me thinks that this is fine, since it must mean everything is going okay with the little one right? But really I am getting more and more paranoid. I can't wait for my u/s next week and can actually feel some relief that this little one is on schedule and growing like it should. Even though I know it is completely normal to feel like this when you are pg, it just doesn't seem normal to me. Why do our bodies react this way, it doesn't make any sense, and since I didn't experience this before, it makes me wonder if something is wrong. I am tempted to call my dr., but then I tell myself that I only have to wait one more week and I will get to talk with him anyway and hopefully will be relieved to see a strong heartbeat at my u/s, and then I will have nothing to worry about, right? Yeah I know, I will find something else to worry about. Is there ever really a time when we can completely stop worrying?

Appt. update and morning sickness

Last friday was my first appt. It went pretty routine, like I expected. I was surprised that my dr. remembered me. He sees so many patients, but he knew who I was, and even remember my years of infertility, even though he never treated me for that.

Everything seemed fine and like I expected I will get a sonogram at my next appt to date the pg. As of right now my due date is June 18th, but my dr. will change that depending on the sono. My next appt is Nov 19 and it seems like forever to have to wait. But I know it will be here before I know it.

I think I can definitely say I have morning sickness now. In fact I haven't had a headache for a little while, but I am definitely feeling sick. I came close to throwing up this morning, but fortunately didn't. But I just kind of feel sick to my stomach all the time. Sometimes I feel like I just need to eat, but then nothing sounds good or if I try to eat something, I still feel sick. I really don't remember this when I was pg with JR. I remember feeling sick some of the time, but this is like a constant feeling of sickness. Maybe this feeling differently is because I am having a girl. That would be wonderful, but so would a boy. I have always thought I would have a boy and then a girl, but I guess that really doesn't mean anything. We will just have to wait and see. I was told last night that I "better have a girl" by my niece. We shall see, I guess. Hopefully the morning sickness will only last for a little while longer, at least I hope it doesn't last past the first trimester. But it does make me happy to be feeling pg. It doesn't stop my worrying completely, but it does help me feel better that everything is okay with this little one.

Headaches

I have decided that headaches are my morning sickness. I seem to get awful headaches in the first trimester, many of which are migraines. I remember these when I was pg with JR too. Oh well, I guess I am grateful that they didn't last my whole pg. I have had a touch of morning sickness, just enough for me to feel good about the pg, but not enough to make me really sick, which is good. Hopefully it won't get worse, which I know is still a real possibility.

Tomorrow I have my first appt. Kind of nervous. I know it's silly but when I went to my first appt when I was pg with JR, I was sure that someone, a nurse, the doctor, or just someone, was going to tell me I wasn't really pg, and why was I there. I know it's crazy, but I feel like that again. Is it possibly to just believe I am pg and not really be. I know it's an irrational thought, but it does make me a little nervous for my appt. I know it will be pretty routine, and nothing exciting will happen. Just hoping that I will get to schedule my first u/s.

Not much to report

I know I'm still early and I shouldn't really have many symptoms yet, but I would like to feel more pg. I don't have any morning sickness yet, which is a good thing. My pants are already getting a little tight, and I know the baby is way too little to be doing that, so not sure what that is about. I want to get through the first trimester before I bring out my maternity clothes, but not sure if that will happen or not. I am feeling a little bit more tired, but I was tired before I got pg too, so not sure if it has to do with being pg, or the fact that I get up at 5:30 every morning to teach seminary. I also have had some cramping, hopefully it is just my uterus stretching and growing. I really feel like everything is going smoothly right now, even though I don't have many pg symptoms, however I am still a little bit nervous of something going wrong. I will be happy to hear or see the heartbeat. My first appt is a week from today. I don't suspect that I will get an u/s on that day and it will be too early to hear a heartbeat on doppler, but my dr. does like to do early u/s to date the pg. So hopefully in November I will get a glimpse of the little bean.

BFP

For those that may not know, BFP stand for "Big Fat Positive". I saw a positive on a home pregnancy test today, and I am so excited.

Mike and I have been TTC #2 since the beginning of the year. With the struggles we had to conceive JR (it took 5 years), I wasn't sure what to expect. As we approached the year mark of TTC #2, I thought it was safe to say that it wasn't going to be easy to conceive #2 as well.

AF was due to arrive, and I dreamt last night that she showed up. When I woke up this morning, she had not shown, so I decided to test. I never test this early. I almost always wait until I am a few days late. I had bought a 2-pack pregnancy test last month. So I figured I had 2 tests, I might as well use one. To my surprise it was positive, I really did not expect it to be.





The first thing I did was wake up Mike and show him the test. He was a little dazed but once he awoke to realize what I was telling him, he too was very excited. I always imagined telling Mike in some cute way, but when it comes down to it, I feel he needs to know as soon as I do. He hopes and waits and is anxious for it to happen just as much as I am, so I feel it is only fair. I would have a hard time keeping it from him for too long anyway. I love that it is something that we can share for a time together before we tell anyone else.

I can't describe how blessed I feel. I am a little nervous that something may still go wrong. Right now I don't feel pg at all, which I know is completely normal, but it still make me nervous. I am so excited to feel all the experiences again that come with pg. My first pg was wonderful and I know that every pg is different, but I just can't wait for all those exciting things, like feeling the baby move and listening to the heartbeat. This blog is currently private so only I can read it, because we are not yet telling anyone. But as soon as I am far enough a long to start spreading the word, I will make it public like my other blogs and use this blog to track this pregnancy. I wanted to keep track of these early things as well, which is why I created this blog now and not later.

I am so excited and so happy. I feel so blessed. I know that JR will make a great big brother. He already has a "I'm going to be a big brother" t-shirt, that I am sure we will use to tell most people. I really can't describe how happy I am right now in my life, it is so exciting.